Rioters gather outside Ekul Odnol's house before capturing and murdering him (Getty Images)
By Brice Burge
Editor in Chief
Marquette Socialite Setting’s Editor Price Purge recently released a press release about the publication’s lack of involvement in the untimely death of MQT local and butthurt music writer Ekul Odnol.
Editor in Chief
Marquette Socialite Setting’s Editor Price Purge recently released a press release about the publication’s lack of involvement in the untimely death of MQT local and butthurt music writer Ekul Odnol.
“We want to reach out to the Odnol family and wish them our deepest sympathies in this rough time. However to say that we orchestrated a posse, provided weapons and insinuated a riot for and during the murder of the most hated man in Marquette’s local music scene is just untrue. If anything, we hope his loved ones find peace in the large amount of people who attended – and allegedly caused – his final breaths.”
According to police reports obtained by MQT Social Scene, a mob of estimated 800 people consisting of local orchestra members, traditional music players and dubstep enthusiasts took Odnol from his Trowbridge Park home and marched through town, chanting “what about us?” Odonl’s body was found dismembered across multiple metal bars on the Presque Isle bandshell, arranged as the notes of Pachabel’s Canon in D.
Rioters said that they most enjoyed the two-hour drum session at Tourist Park, where they were able to use their favorite drum riffs to beat the man to death. Rioters were seen dancing to a string quartet, before the players took off the metal strings to cut up the body.
“It reminded me of Rachmaninoff’s dystopian ballet,” said Yoop University music professor William Sherman, as he cleaned blood off the end of his tenor saxophone. "It is unfortunate that he was too busy being bludgeoned to death to enjoy what was probably his most artistic experience."
Rioters said that they most enjoyed the two-hour drum session at Tourist Park, where they were able to use their favorite drum riffs to beat the man to death. Rioters were seen dancing to a string quartet, before the players took off the metal strings to cut up the body.
“It reminded me of Rachmaninoff’s dystopian ballet,” said Yoop University music professor William Sherman, as he cleaned blood off the end of his tenor saxophone. "It is unfortunate that he was too busy being bludgeoned to death to enjoy what was probably his most artistic experience."
Ondol was a known detractor of the local music scene, but never mentioned the symphonic bands or the Geronimo Music Festival, the largest traditional music festival in the Midwest. Ondol’s latest article “MQT has best effing music scene ever” in the Southern Blow attacked the house party scene frequented by the electronic music community, again without ever stating what knowledge he had of electronic artists.
“The ‘what about us’ chants really showed that his articles were too short-sighted to include multiple aspect of the local music scene,” said Luke Skaman, lead singer of local band Punk Pur.
The paper stated that they could have offered more protection for Odnol, but “have a feeling they'll be laughing for a good while yet."
Brice Burge is the Editor in Chief of MQT Social Scene and is currently laughing about having the advantage of publishing whenever he darn well pleases. He can be reached at briceMQT@gmail.com.
“The ‘what about us’ chants really showed that his articles were too short-sighted to include multiple aspect of the local music scene,” said Luke Skaman, lead singer of local band Punk Pur.
The paper stated that they could have offered more protection for Odnol, but “have a feeling they'll be laughing for a good while yet."
Brice Burge is the Editor in Chief of MQT Social Scene and is currently laughing about having the advantage of publishing whenever he darn well pleases. He can be reached at briceMQT@gmail.com.
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