By Brice Burge
Editor in Chief

Former Northern Michigan University goaltender Bill Zaniboni has announced that he is coaching 15 of the 16 franchises of the Minnesota Junior Hockey League (MnJHL) through remote controlled robots.

"Yes, I am the head coach of the Royales and the (Wisconsin Dells) Ducks and the majority of the teams in the league," Zaniboni said in a press conference before leaving for the USA Hockey Tier III National Championships in Sudbury, Conn. "I don't know why this is such a big deal -- I'm a pretty awesome coach."

By John LaPine and Bryan Hampton
MQT Social Scene News Correspondent and Breakwall Comedy Correspondent

As the MQT Food Co-Op is working to finish construction of their new store on Washington Street they are making some other changes to better their organization for everyone in MQT.

This morning representatives from the corporate office for McDonalds and MQT Food Co-Op sat down and worked out a partnership for the new store. Under the agreement McDonalds will fund the rest of the construction and renovation to the Washington Street property, as long as the Co-Op met certain golden arches standards.

“We're excited to work with another local business to help us get moved to our new location,” said co-op employee Renee Briggs. “Even if it means compromising on a couple minor items.”

By Brice Burge
Editor in Chief

Marquette Socialite Setting’s Editor Price Purge recently released a press release about the publication’s lack of involvement in the untimely death of MQT local and butthurt music writer Ekul Odnol.

By John LaPine
MQT Social Scene News Corespondent

Last week's late snowstorm, which left a number of MQT area residents without power Friday, may have not been a surprise for one local business. The Taco Bell of MQT hired Mother Nature to slow down other taco-based businesses in Marquette, according to the police.

Police arrested Mother Nature, who faces a number of charges, including fifty-two counts of determent of taco enjoyment, as well as two counts of precipitating while intoxicated, early Tuesday morning.